The Zombie Effect

After the clinical study where I was initially given a placebo for several weeks, the physician heading the study decided that medicine was what I needed to combat may anxiety disorder. No therapy, no books, no anything other than medicine. No, not this doctor. He decided that what was best for me was to take six 1 mg Xanax/day. Now, I don't know if any of you have ever taken Xanax, but it's just like taking a valium. It relaxes you (a lot!!!). It even puts some people to sleep. Now imagine taking six of those a day. Instantly I went from being a 30 panic attack per day person to a zombie. I went to my job with my eyelids swollen and half closed. Caffine had a very minimal effect on the oh so potent pills that I had been prescribed and was desperate enough to take. I had to go to the nurse on several occasions because "I wasn't feeling well" and needed to lie down (i.e., sleep). Once again, my life came to a screeching halt. Eventually, over a period of weeks, my body begin to adapt to the medication, and I was able to handle the dosage a little better. But little did I know, this was only the beginning of a new chapter in living life with an anxiety disorder.